Interpersonal Relationships

April 18, 2025

Interpersonal Relationships

A Note on Cam

To analyze each stage of our friendship with the respect it deserves through Knapp's Relational Model would undoubtedly require many pages; perhaps I will write a book one day. For now, I want to primarily focus on our current stage: relational maintenance.

We were bound to be friends from the beginning; we lived minutes apart from each other, went to the same high school, rode at the same barn, and spent weeks together at the same horse shows. Our parents and trainers would often tease us about how we should be friends with each other.

Alder (2023) states that people organize others using perceptual schemas to classify them based on categories such as physical, role-based, interaction-based, and psychological. Our initial perceptions of each other delayed the start of our friendship. I initially perceived Cam as a beautiful girl with numerous friends, confidence that intimidated me, and a very accomplished rider (which she is, undoubtedly). I thought she'd have no interest in talking to me. Cam initially perceived me as a shy and quiet new girl to the barn and school who didn't have much interest in forming a friendship with her.

Alder (2023) discusses humans' tendency to cling to first impressions and explains how initial perceptions tend to carry significant weight in the progression of relationships. Although I can relate to a portion of that idea, after Cam and I passed through the experimental stage of Knapp's Relational Model (a great story that I will have to share later), our perceptions of each other were challenged in a beneficial way for the relationship. I didn't perceive Cam as intimidating and unfriendly, and she didn't perceive me as shy and standoffish.

Our friendship really soared after that. The intensifying, integrating, and bonding stages of our relationship are all great memories that I could write pages on, and the friendship we share now is so special. I often refer to her as my twin flame, partner in crime, or soulmate, and would consider our relationship in the relational maintenance stage. Our friendship hasn't changed or dwindled even after college transfers, moves, and living in different states. We both still share the same passions and hobbies, don't get us started on horses, and will quite literally chat for hours.

We have been 'best friends' for 5 or so years now, and our lives are so intertwined in the best way. She knows more about me than anyone else, including my boyfriend (we frequently joke about that), we both have close relationships with each other's families, and we keep in touch. Online communication has been beneficial for our friendship, as we currently live in different states. We share long phone calls or send each other texts and social media posts frequently, but the type of friendship we share doesn't even require constant communication to stay afloat. We never hold it against each other if we don't communicate for a while. Whenever we see each other in person, even after many months, we never miss a beat, and it feels like we were never apart at all.

I wish every person on this planet could have a friendship like the one Cam and I share. As I've said, I could write so much more, but perhaps some of those special memories are meant only for us.